Belated

It’s as if I have lost movement now, though I suspect I never had it. What I have is this moment after breaking a fall, when the contours are getting sharper again and I’m trying to feel the essence of the thud. I’m not as troubled by falling as I am by its temporal separation—my awareness that it is “something that happened when no one was looking”; that it is always “something to come and then coming too late.” Troubled, furthermore, that I am worse than bad at parsing how it happens, even as those listening would probably not be able to hear.